Utterly plausible. The great lie. The great Western lie that is intoxicating to all, believed in by any subscribing global culture, e.g. Vietnam and why not? This is an ideal depiction of life in some particular society, nothing that actually exists. How is this story told? As if one's "role" is everything, and where everything is a game. In the game that is everything, that can be played successfully, there are surely some who are going to emerge as victors. It is a great success that covers every continents. And how long successful? It it is basically all a lie? There is no success. This is the premise, the fantasy. It is only a hollow fantasy. This system is a fantasy. No more, no less. Hai Dang -- he probably take drugs anyway. Life will consume this man!!!!#
connection notes: I seamlessly got Hai Dang's literary work today. But then when I added the above 'Comment' I also saw I have a new "notification." And it was he! Ha Dang is recorded as having liked some sort of thing that I put up as a Note esterday. Then I suppose I got steered into reading him. I miraculously found myself reading literature by this man. (or is "he" a transgendered transexual?
Me is a dude through and through. Thank you for reading!!! I'm still reading your comment (read between the lines) cuz its 10pm here and my mind is so boggy ^^
I'll be glad to have your company on this story. Honestly, Idk what's going on but I'll take it as positive since substack connect us together and you read and comment on my story. That's a great thing. I think chapter 3 will be the miss or hit on this story so let's see if I can entertain you with it on Saturday.
I liked this! I especially loved how you threw in such a mysterious and hooky line right at the start with, "The police believe I’m innocent." That immediately made me want to keep reading to find out why they need the police to see them as innocent. Masterful hook.
Such an intriguing start! I love the play of glances, the smiles, and the handshakes. You’re shaping the protagonist beautifully. And that line "My smile is for my own entertainment" I love it! Great work!
Interesting premise and opening, both on a personal and professional level for the MC. Curious about his research too - so many possibilities for controversy. Great start.
This was a great start, doesn't have a dull moment and it's easy to read. I like Harry even tho I feel I shouldn't? The way he talked about his girlfriend's death seemed a bit suspicious to me . I wonder what exactly Elise wants to ask him. But my guess is, these two are trouble for each other.
I really liked this.... real people with real issues. You had me with 'the police believe I'm innocent, ' right in the second paragraph. I also loved the percussion of heels....
Thank you! 🙏 Do you think I should cut the thesis reading by a bit? I think I should cut it, but at the same time, it reduce proof that the narrative is interested 😞
The opening is so sharp, dropping us into Harry’s practiced charm and quiet ruthlessness right as he flips a scholarship interview into a negotiation over IP and a future lab post.
It caught me how Elise arrives as both temptation and threat, her thesis on post‑traumatic growth quietly circling the “extraordinary case” he’s desperate to keep away from Brooke while dangling exactly the cash and attention he can’t quite refuse.
That final image of the engineered seed in one pocket and Elise’s card in the other, future secured and past about to be excavated, is a perfect hinge for a long siege of a story.
The seed in one pocket secures his future while Elise’s card in the other threatens to unearth the past he’s buried with Brooke, setting a perfect hinge for a long siege of a story.
As usual with your work this is very vivid imaginative.
The male character interiority is authentic and feels very real. I reread and moving to next chapter. ☕️
Utterly plausible. The great lie. The great Western lie that is intoxicating to all, believed in by any subscribing global culture, e.g. Vietnam and why not? This is an ideal depiction of life in some particular society, nothing that actually exists. How is this story told? As if one's "role" is everything, and where everything is a game. In the game that is everything, that can be played successfully, there are surely some who are going to emerge as victors. It is a great success that covers every continents. And how long successful? It it is basically all a lie? There is no success. This is the premise, the fantasy. It is only a hollow fantasy. This system is a fantasy. No more, no less. Hai Dang -- he probably take drugs anyway. Life will consume this man!!!!#
connection notes: I seamlessly got Hai Dang's literary work today. But then when I added the above 'Comment' I also saw I have a new "notification." And it was he! Ha Dang is recorded as having liked some sort of thing that I put up as a Note esterday. Then I suppose I got steered into reading him. I miraculously found myself reading literature by this man. (or is "he" a transgendered transexual?
Me is a dude through and through. Thank you for reading!!! I'm still reading your comment (read between the lines) cuz its 10pm here and my mind is so boggy ^^
yeah, I work slowly. Takes a while to set, and then I hope I never let go. I will have a successful career with "the company." Yours?
I'll be glad to have your company on this story. Honestly, Idk what's going on but I'll take it as positive since substack connect us together and you read and comment on my story. That's a great thing. I think chapter 3 will be the miss or hit on this story so let's see if I can entertain you with it on Saturday.
P/S: I don't do drugs lol.
I liked this! I especially loved how you threw in such a mysterious and hooky line right at the start with, "The police believe I’m innocent." That immediately made me want to keep reading to find out why they need the police to see them as innocent. Masterful hook.
Thank you so much. Two person has told me that line slaps. 😊
Such an intriguing start! I love the play of glances, the smiles, and the handshakes. You’re shaping the protagonist beautifully. And that line "My smile is for my own entertainment" I love it! Great work!
Hmm, seems like the villain’s charm is irresistible 😆
Absolutely 😁
Interesting premise and opening, both on a personal and professional level for the MC. Curious about his research too - so many possibilities for controversy. Great start.
oops… This one is a psychological thriller. They play chess all day… All I can say is I write the villain pov.
I like Psychological thrillers. Which should I head to next?
https://wordsilo.substack.com/p/excerpt-of-a-templar-tale-refuse?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=7paqof
The long Siege... Just started rolling so I hate to tell you have patient 😔
I’ll keep an eye on it. I like the opening gambit.
This was a great start, doesn't have a dull moment and it's easy to read. I like Harry even tho I feel I shouldn't? The way he talked about his girlfriend's death seemed a bit suspicious to me . I wonder what exactly Elise wants to ask him. But my guess is, these two are trouble for each other.
Big trouble! I think I'll release 2 chapters next week so you will see Elise and him again.
I really liked this.... real people with real issues. You had me with 'the police believe I'm innocent, ' right in the second paragraph. I also loved the percussion of heels....
Thank you! 🙏 Do you think I should cut the thesis reading by a bit? I think I should cut it, but at the same time, it reduce proof that the narrative is interested 😞
Don't change a thing :)
The opening is so sharp, dropping us into Harry’s practiced charm and quiet ruthlessness right as he flips a scholarship interview into a negotiation over IP and a future lab post.
It caught me how Elise arrives as both temptation and threat, her thesis on post‑traumatic growth quietly circling the “extraordinary case” he’s desperate to keep away from Brooke while dangling exactly the cash and attention he can’t quite refuse.
That final image of the engineered seed in one pocket and Elise’s card in the other, future secured and past about to be excavated, is a perfect hinge for a long siege of a story.
The seed in one pocket secures his future while Elise’s card in the other threatens to unearth the past he’s buried with Brooke, setting a perfect hinge for a long siege of a story.
As usual with your work this is very vivid imaginative.
Thank you Eddie!!! Your comment make my day as usual.
Thank you, this piece seems a bit different in flow still very effective.
Thank you! I try my best to write in the character’s head, quite a challenge.
The novella is done... I just posted it slowly 😆
Not yet 😆. I'm building network and hopefully readers first before debut this novella, and a dark fantasy novel 😈
Yeah, I’ve my inner circle for that ^^