What struck me most was the fleece blanket. It starts as a simple object and slowly becomes the thread connecting their entire lives. The imagery stayed with me long after I finished reading. I also appreciated the explanation at the end—it helped me see the full tragedy behind the poem.
Don’t you dare make yourself smaller than you are! Yes, it’s raw and unpolished, and yet, it stayed with me. It doesn’t need to be perfect to be good. It just needs to touch me. And it did. 😘
I love this narrative poem! So original and the rhythm is haunting; reminds me of the rhyme of war. I particularly love the triangle parts. Like two parties preparing to fight. Good work. ☺️
It always amazes me how many different genres you write at such a high level. Great poem, mate!
Thank you, Nick ☺️. It means a lot coming from you.
Two boys.
One blanket.
A debt that outlived
both of them
as kings.
He grabbed the burning fleece
not to keep it —
but to prove
that some things
are carried
even when they cost you
everything.
— AËLA
🙏🏼 Thank you AELA. You captured the meaning so well.
What struck me most was the fleece blanket. It starts as a simple object and slowly becomes the thread connecting their entire lives. The imagery stayed with me long after I finished reading. I also appreciated the explanation at the end—it helped me see the full tragedy behind the poem.
Well done, my friend.
Oh darling, 🙈 my plain draft at the end is so raw and bad lol. Thank you for reading it 😁
Don’t you dare make yourself smaller than you are! Yes, it’s raw and unpolished, and yet, it stayed with me. It doesn’t need to be perfect to be good. It just needs to touch me. And it did. 😘
Touchy touchy… 🖤 🙏 wonder if you have read the Bent Nail? 💅
I did. Didn’t I leave a comment there? If not, I’ll need to correct that oversight as soon as I’m home from work. 😘
😂 your comment could get the nail straight. 🔨
Awesome, well balanced presentation. Thank you Hai.
Oh my 🙈 thank you so much for reading. 🖤 🙏
I love this narrative poem! So original and the rhythm is haunting; reminds me of the rhyme of war. I particularly love the triangle parts. Like two parties preparing to fight. Good work. ☺️
🙏Thank you so much… that means a lot coming from you. 😊
I found this poem striking. Sooo original :)
Thank you 🙏 🖤.